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Sunday, June 13, 2010

HELLO PEEPS!!! It has been quite some time since I last blogged. Today I shall continue where I left off the previous time, which is to complete my remaining 2 essays which my GF had set for me before the UOL exams. As I am "supposed" to be very free now since my exams had ended and my HK trip/PC Show job is over, I have no reasons to be a PK right? So... Here we go again.....

6. What are the advantages and disadvantages of being with her till date?

Of course, nobody is perfect and due to individuals' unique character and behaviour, there will not be a perfect relationship. Ultimately, it all boils down to acceptance and tolerance of each other's weaknesses and imperfections. Only then will you see an imperfect person perfect. Nevertheless, as people say, "One man's meat is another man's poison". A certain character trait which you favour in an ideal partner might not be favourable to another person. To put it simply, it just meant 'taste'. My taste might be different from the other guys out there but so long as I am happy with my 'food', I wouldn't care how people judge my preference. =)

Advantages
Most importantly, Julia understands that I do not come from such a well to do family as her, and as such, she does not expect me to pay for all our dates by myself. Firstly, as we are both food lover, we will be prepared to pay slightly more for better food, and if I were to pick the tab each time, my allowance would have depleted by the end of the 2nd week of the month and I wouldn't be able to bring her out to eat good food anymore and obviously she doesn't want that to happen. Probably she feels that it is not "ethically" right to make the boyfriend to pay for everything since she can afford it and that she is better off than the boyfriend.

Secondly, she is able to get along fine with my family members. Maybe due to some bad experiences which I had encountered with my ex-GF, I have understood the importance of building strong and good relationship with your partner's family. In future if we were to get married, it will be a combination of 2 families and both of us will be the catalyst in this case. I could not imagine how it will be like if both our families cannot get along well and how much stress it will create for both of us. But I would say I am pretty well liked by Julia's family and I am very thankful for that.

Before Julia came into my life, I would say I am quite a 'happy go lucky' person who didn't liked planning what to do everyday. In another words, I led a very 'boring' life. Julia came and added colours in my life, be it planning activities to do and organising my 'boring timetable' which practically made my life much more interesting than before. I never felt bored ever again. All my free time will be spent on her and she enjoys my company as much I enjoyed hers. Her 1 week holiday to Taiwan without me by her side had made me realized how life would be without her. I felt that I was going back in time where I have not met her and leading my same old 'boring' lifestyle again. I seriously wonder how it would be like when she leaves for US in a few weeks time and it would be for 2 months. Probably I should get a well paying job and save up for that 2 months and get her something really good when she returns. =)

Disadvantages
Frankly speaking, Julia had been a really really really nice girlfriend. Although I know there cannot be a perfect lover, Julia is really very close to being the perfect girl in my eyes. If I were to really pinpoint any flaw I see, the only gripe I have would be that she tends to rush things which have no sense of urgency. i.e. getting things done way beforehand which can be very far from the deadline. I know there is no fault being 'efficient' but it kinda irks me sometimes. Let me explain in detail. Lets say I have a task to complete in a week and I have planned to finish it say a day before the deadline, and so that I can my own sweet time to finish it at my own pace. Suddenly, she will demand me to finish it say in 3 days and wait till the deadline to hand it up. I have always been a person who likes to do things slowly so long I get things done before the deadline as I do not like to rush things through. So when Julia does that, I can get really irritated at times as my plans are being disrupted for things that aren't urgent at all. I know it isn't quite a big matter as now I am trying to adapt to it. My efficiency is now close to Strong-Form Efficiency thanks to my girlfriend. =)

As you all can see, the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. If the reverse is true, probably I wouldn't be with Julia now right? Then again, being in a relationship, we cannot really quantify everything in terms of numbers or figures. It is the feeling that counts and that is of utmost importance.

3. What made you finally decide to confess to Julia? Discuss.

I have always been a curious person and also quite a risk taker. I would wonder how/why things might turn out based on the decisions we make. It is finding the ultimate outcome that would keep my interest going. And applying this to relationship would also mean that without trying, you would not know how things would turn out to be in the end.

After a failed relationship while I was still serving my NS, I have learnt many valuable lessons and I promised myself never to repeat those mistakes again in my future relationship. Thus, it took me quite some time to settle down before I decide to make myself "available" for relationships.

I have indeed met a few potential "candidates" but i approached them with a skeptical attitude for the fear of another failed relationship. I had even came up with a mini "checklist" to remind myself that any girl must pass it in order for me to consider them as a "good" candidate. In the end, Julia was the one whom I had set my eyes on.

I spent a few months thinking hard on whether I should make my move and let her know of my interest in her and adopted a waiting and see strategy instead. During this period, I was constantly asking myself a gazillion questions like "How can I be sure to be the right guy for her?", "How am I gonna give her the happiness she needs?", "How I can be there for her everytime she needs me?" etc. I had to ensure that I can do all of the above before I commit myself to being in a relationship with her. I didn't care if shes going to be a good girlfriend. I didn't even expect her to be a good one. All I knew at the point of time was that I would have given her all that I could and I would have did my best. Even if she were to reject me for whatever reasons, I know I did put in my effort and I could give no more.

There I was, brimming with confidence, I decided to give it a shot. I confessed. I got rejected. If anybody were to ask me if I was disappointed, I would be lying if I said no. Actually I expected myself to be rejected for some reason, my main purpose was actually to let my intention be known. I am kinda glad that I actually did that as Julia did not even sense anything fishy when I was out on dates with her. I guess my effort paid off when we got together about a month later.

Up till today, I would still keep myself in check, by reflecting on those thoughts I had before I decided to commit myself in a relationship. I had to uphold my "standards" throughout the whole duration of this relationship or risk being ended up in another failed one. If we really did not work out in the future for some reasons or another, I know that I did my best and that I would not have any regrets.

Being in a relationship is like an investment. You invest time, money and effort in it but only reaped the payoff in an indefinite time in the future. If the relationship fail, you not only lose all your investment, you will even suffer a "loss" which are all your emotions and the efforts to get back onto your feet again. These "losses" are again cannot be quantified in figures or numbers. Now are you willing to invest in such an investment? I do. Because I am an "informed" trader who does his homework diligently. =)

karl mooed at : 10:35 AM